Attack of the Rabid Fangirls
by Dana-Lith
Summary: Three teenage girls get transported to the Naruto universe and cause HAVOC! Orochimaru wearing pink, Itachi wanting candy, Naruto philosophising...that peaked your interest? See inside for all that and more! eventually...once I write it all...
1. Chapter 1

Hiyas people! Well, me and my friends decided to see how random we could get in a fanfic and this is the result! This is just a short introduction chapter, it'll be multi-chap just so's you know…And I really gotta run before Ash murders me…

Ash: stands in doorway holding gun too late…

Me: uh-oh…o.O

_To be continued…_

Disclaimer: nah, I don't own Naruto either, if I did, Naruto'd be dead and someone else'd be the main character…maybe Gaara…or the Akatsuki…

-

Alba sighed as she stared out of the window of her math class at the swirling blizzard outside; she'd spent the last half-hour working on factorising negatively squared numbers and was officially bored stiff. Why couldn't she have been put in the same class as her two best friends, Crimson and Ash? At least then she'd have someone to talk to…The harsh shrill of the bell startled her out of her depressed stupor, '_finally, home-time!'_ She thought gleefully as she stuffed her bags into her overloaded bag and all but ran out of the classroom.

Once she'd forced her way down the maths tower's crowded staircase she scanned the entrance hall, trying to catch sight of her two friends. At last, she caught sight of a flash of bright purple hair atop a long black leather trench coat. Grinning she pushed her way through the crowd towards Ash, mindful to poke as many people in the eye with her elaborate black-rose hair tie as she could, _'being short's great…'_ she thought happily as she heard the cries of 'Watch it you stupid Goth-girl!!' and 'Ow!! My eye!!' that followed her on her way.

Ash greeted her with a lazy salute as the cheery punk and diminutive Goth made their way outside,

"Yo Ghosty, you seen the Pyro around yet?" Ash drawled in reference to the third member of their merry group.

"Nah," Alba replied casually, "not since she left for chemistry…" Ash chuckled, "Maybe we shouldn't bother waiting then, she's probably blown up the lab…" No sooner had the words left her lips than a loud shout heralded them from behind,

"Hey! Wait up you guys!" turning round they were greeted with the sight of a thoroughly singed Crimson weaving her way towards them, her long brown hair pulled back in a messy ponytail that was practically the only bit of her not currently smeared with soot. Ash raised one eyebrow questioningly as she looked the only one of the three to be actually wearing the regulation school uniform up and down. "Have fun in chemistry?" Alba asked sarcastically.

Laughing the three friends made their way out into the semi-blizzard in search of Crimson's bus; all three were going to her house for a sleep-over tonight and with any luck they'd be able to make it the whole night without her blowing something up…not likely though. Seeing as how her brother had a conveniently placed research station(1) in the basement, and Crimson had memorised the security code…

-

(1) A research station is a laboratory

Ok, so it's not very well written…but it gets better! Give me feedback and I'll write better, I promise! And I know there's no-one actually from Naruto in this chapter, but they'll come into it next chapter, ok?

AN: ALL FLAMES WILL BE GIVEN TO MY FRIEND THE PYRO IN THE CORNER FOR HER AMMUSEMENT.


	2. Chapter 2

Okies people! Second chapter w00t! Omg I pwn u n00b!! Yeah…computer speak over and done with, I'm only updating 'cos seeing my poor ikkle fic moving further and further down the lists was breaking my heart…Heh. 'Tis very badly written, but what the hell.

_The saga of Ash's revenge continues…_

Ash; (steps in and slams door)

Me: (backs away holding hands out placatingly) now now Ash…no need to do anything rash

Ash; NO NEED... (tries to calm down, raising gun) oh there's need...

Me: (o.O, glances around franticly, but there aren't any exits this side of the room) oh c'mon Ash! Be reasonable!! You brought it upon yourself!!

Ash; (freezes and twitches) and how exactly did I do that?

Me: (starts listing things on fingers) well, there was the time you made me wear my tie as a bandana and called me Vincent Valentine all through art-class, then there was the time you taunted me about acting a teensy bit like that guy Michael from Avalon, and not to forget the times you straddled me and got Aileen to take a picture…

_To be continued…_

Disclaimer: Nah…still don't own it. You can tell by the fact that Naruto isn't dead yet…

-

After fighting their way through the snow the three girls finally burst through the door to Crimson's house and collapsed, panting, in a heap by the coat-rack. Crimson's elder brother Michael popped his head round the living room door and stared at them bemusedly for a few minutes before bluntly stating,

"You three look like shit." And retracting his head. Ash and Alba glared from their position on the floor, while Crimson muttered darkly about 'bloody know-it-alls' and 'bomb in his bed'd shut 'im up…' Eventually noticing the growing pool of cold water steadily growing around them the girls reluctantly dragged themselves up off the floor and shuffled wearily into Crimson's bedroom to dry off and change.

Fifteen minutes and nine minor fist fights later found them all dressed in baggy pyjama's and wrapped up in fluffy blankets huddled on Crimson's bed. Well, maybe huddled isn't such a good word…sprawled would be more like it. Especially seeing as Crimson's bed was _huge._ Everything in Crimson's house was big. Her family was R-I-C-H! Her dad worked in an I.T. company that designed security systems for big businesses, while her mum worked as an artist selling wire and glass…things…to artsy highlanders. Neither of her parents where home at the minute, only her big brother Michael who was on study leave for his science exams, the eldest brother – John – was already at university and hardly ever bothered to come home anymore.

While Ash and Alba made themselves comfortable on the queen-sized bed, Crimson had a sudden stroke of 'genius' (homicidal urge more like…). Leaping up of the bed she posed dramatically, one finger in the air, and cried, "I know how to dry us off _really fast!_" she paused for emphasis, grinning manically round at her friends as they stared at her with a mixture of horror and resigned anticipation, "Fire-crackers!!" she yelled. The others sighed exasperatedly and flopped back on the bed as Crimson began ransacking her room in search of explosives. Ash massaged the bridge of her nose tiredly as she groaned

"Crimson…we've had this conversation before! Fireworks _don't _dry you off! They just scare the bejeesus out of your brother and make him call the fire-brigade!" Alba raised her head dejectedly and added,

"Remember what happened last time?"

Pointedly ignoring them Crimson continued rooting through her chest of drawers for the small sticks of dynamite. Though why she thought she might find them in her underwear drawer, Ash and Alba really didn't want to know. Giving up on dissuading her they watched in mild trepidation as her search grew more and more frantic and the entire contents of every cupboard and drawer in her room was tossed into the middle of the floor. Finally, after having single-handedly destroyed her bedroom, Crimson sank to her knees in the middle of the chaos with a look of utter desolation on her face as she wailed, "They're all gone! I must have used the last lot on those Neds(1) earlier today!" Sobbing disconsolately she threw herself forwards in what Ash and Alba instantly recognised as pyro-tantrum position mark 3. Paling they both leapt forwards to the brave defence of their sanity as they quickly dragged her up, "Hey, Pyro…it's not that bad! We can just get some more, right?" Ash babbled hurriedly, quickly followed by Alba's 'smart' suggestion, "Yeah, we can just make some down in your brother's lab!"

Almost instantly Crimson brightened up, manic grin firmly back in place as she bolted out of the room yelling, "Last one there's a fried cheese-head!" Ash and Alba stood frozen in the wreckage of Crimson's room, slowly Ash lifted her head to stare at Alba in a mixture of horror and rage, "What," she whispered, "have you done?!!" Alba flinched away slightly from the evildeathglareofdoom™ she was receiving and scratched the back of her neck embarrassedly, "Heh…um, it seemed like a good idea at the time?" she offered hopelessly, "and at least it stopped her blowing everything up again…" she continued in an undertone. Ash kept up the glare for a few more seconds till a loud crash and a fluent stream of expletives in several languages announced that Crimson had made it to the lab already. Swearing colourfully for two fourteen year old girls they broke off the epic showdown and made a mad dash for the source of the noise.

After an Olympian feat to get down two flights of stairs and through thirteen rooms in under five seconds, they rounded the last corner and skidded to a halt just in time. Crimson's brother lay flat on his back staring dazedly up at the ceiling with an antique Chinese vase pinning him to the floor. The two girls stared at him in consternation for a few seconds, then Ash broke the silence, "Wow…" Alba nodded her agreement before saying, "I know…it's amazing that the vase isn't broken. This has to be, what? The fourth time she's done that?" Ash suddenly chuckled, "I'm just amazed _he_ fell for it again!" The two girls would have been quite happy to stand around laughing at Michael's predicament all day, but a crash up ahead reminded them of their goal and they bolted forwards. Finally reaching the open door, Alba pulled Ash up short and said in a hushed tone of voice, "Are you sure we should go in after her? You remember what happened last time…"

flashback

_The long-haired girl stared in horror as the sponge-like surface of the wall oozed over her outstretched hands. Desperately she tried to pull away, but the strange substance held her firmly in place. Panicking, she called out to the friends she couldn't see, but was sure were somewhere close,_

"_Um…guys? Little help!" no answer was given as she struggled harder against the sucking motion of the wall and cried out again, "Guys? The wall's eating my arms!!" Again the only reply she got was the soft sucking of the wall and floor as they inched along her arms and up her leg- wait a minute…up her legs?! She looked down to confirm the messages her feet were sending her brain, and…yup. The floor was eating her too. She whimpered, no longer so sure of her friends presence. "Um, guys? This really isn't funny you know…"_

_Without warning something soft and slippery suckered on to her back and the top of her head. Screaming in fear she yelled frantically, "Guys!! Help me! The god-damned room's fucking eating me alive here!!" No sound came from outside the small bubble of flesh-like walls she found herself in as she was slowly absorbed into the room, and the walls expanded again. Ready for their next victim…_

flashback

Ash stared at Alba for a few seconds before giggling slightly and rolling her eyes, "Alba, that was a horror movie we watched two weeks ago. Not real life…" Alba blinked, "It was?" she thought hard for a second before her expression cleared and she grinned sheepishly, "Oh yeah…woopsidoodle!" With no more protests or odd interjections from either girl they slowly made their way into the spotless lab.

Once inside they easily spotted their pyromaniacal friend sitting blithely on a pristine steel worktop near the complicated computer system her brother had installed, humming tunelessly as she fiddled with a beaker full of dangerous chemicals.

Spotting them she grinned again and waved wildly, "What took you guys so long!" she yelled as the walked across to her, warily eying the beaker in her hands. "We stopped to chat with your brother…" Ash replied cautiously as they reached her. At the mention of Michael Crimson frowned slightly and set the beaker down beside her. "Hmm…I forgot about him…" she mused quietly "H should be up again by now…" Her expression cleared as she reached over to the impressive control pad in front of the main screen and pressed a quick sequence of buttons, with a hiss the doors slid shut and a red light flickered on over them as a computer-generated female voice echoed throughout the lab "Locking sequence: initiated. Please confirm password." A bright blue screen flashed into life on the monitor as the keyboard slid out of a concealed panel in the worktop. Ash and Alba stared hungrily at the state-of-the-art technology as Crimson thought for a moment before smacking the keyboard with an open palm and pressing enter. Her two friends gawked as the random sequence of letters and numbers she'd entered was processed by the computer and the fake female voice sounded again, "password accepted. Is there anything you require?"

Ash shook her head slowly, "Man… wish I was rich enough to afford _half_ this stuff!" She ran an appreciative hand over the console as Alba and Crimson grinned to each other over her head. Turning her attention from her friends as they drooled over the computer, Crimson cocked her head to the side and spoke to the computer, "Can this thing play videos?" Ash and Alba shared a glance before going back to ogling the screen. "Affirmative" came the reply from the robotic voice, Crimson grinned as she continued eagerly, "Got any Naruto episodes on here?!" she waited impatiently as the voice announced, "searching data files for 'Naruto'…" the other two looked up in mild interest, "I thought your brother didn't like anime shows…" Alba commented. Crimson shrugged, "He just doesn't like to admit it…" she grinned, "apparently it's not 'cool' to watch cartoons."

As the three shared a giggle at Michael's expense the computer flickered into life behind them and the computer generated voice sounded again, "Files found: fifteen. 'Second series: Chuunin Exam arc. Play? Y/N" Crimson did a strange victory dance – or rather, victory wiggle – as she happily replied, "Y!!" They heard the familiar start-up theme begin behind them, as Crimson picked up her chemicals again and Ash and Alba settled down to watch the show. As the opening credits ended and the actual episode began, Alba began playing idly with a strange gun-like device she'd found on the bench next to her. "Hey Crimson!" she called over the non-sensical prattling of her least favourite orange-jumpsuit wearing character. "Any idea what this is?" she asked, handing over the device and accidentally leaning on the console.

Before Crimson could reply a flashing red light burst from the screen and the annoying female voice called out, "Dimensional shift mechanism: engaged." The three girls leapt up in alarm, "'Dimensional shift mechanism'?" Ash said in a worried voice, "That doesn't sound good…" Before either Alba or Crimson could reply, the world around them twisted and stretched as they were pulled through what looked to them like a black hole in the screen. They tumbled through the darkness; all three of them screaming like terrified fangirls. Then with a bump, they landed on the grassy floor of a strange forest, tall trees towering up on all sides. Shaking her head slightly to clear it, Ash stumbled forwards and shook Alba forcefully by the shoulders, "What have you done you angsty ignoramus!" Alba squeaked in fear at the look on Ash's face and quickly pulled free to run and hide behind Crimson. "I don't know!" she yelled out at the irate punk, "I just pressed the button by accident!"

Any further threats Ash might have been going to reply with were cut off, as a blond-haired, blue-eyed boy wearing an obnoxious orange jumpsuit crashed through the bushes being pulled by a huge dog. All three stared in consternation at the familiar figure as he struggled with the canine before turning to each other in disbelief. "No…" Ash began, "Freaking…" Alba continued, "Way." Crimson finished.

-

Kukukukukuku…cliff-hanger! Eh-hem, yes, so…well. I know that was very badly written, and I've successfully butchered all my attempts at humour…but tell me what you think anyway!

A.N: ANY FLAMES WILL BE GIVEN TO MY FRIEND THE PYRO IN THE CORNER FOR HER AMUSEMENT.

(1) A 'Ned' is a Scottish version of a 'Chav' and if you're from somewhere other than Britain and don't know what either of those are…Ned stands for u_ned_ucated delinquent. They're basically teenagers who wear track-suits (normally white ones) with Burberry caps and Nike trainers, they swear a lot, hang out on street corners drinking bad cider and trying to look hard. If that's too vague, just search 'Ned' or 'Chav' on Youtube and you'll find a load of info on them.


	3. Chchchchanges

Yay! Another chapter…way overdue, but I finally finished it! Not much happens in this one…but it is important! Trust me!

_Yet another instalment in the epic tale of Ash's revenge…_

Ash: (raises gun) say your prayers.

Me: (pales and collapses to knees) Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, they will be done, on earth as it is in heaven…

Ash: (stares) I didn't mean literally, you idiot!

Me: Oh…right… (Gets up looking sheepish)

Ash: (raises gun again) Now…die!

Me: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! (Thinks fast) If you kill me now, you'll be stuck looking like that forever! I won't be able to write the cool epilogue where you get changed back!

Ash: (pauses) hm…you have a point... (Smirks) I'll just torture you a little then.

Me: (O.o) I'm screwed….

_To be continued…_

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I saw it for sale on Ebay the other week, but some bastard beat me too it!

-

The girls stared in slack jawed disbelief as the boy was blown to kingdom come by the landmines and other explosives hidden in the field. It was only after the smoke had cleared enough for them to see the dog completely unharmed and wagging its tail like there was no tomorrow while the boy was a singed wreck that Crimson finally snapped out of her horrified daze.

"AAAAAH!! Naruto!!" she screamed as, acting on instinct, she swung the strange gun-like device she'd been holding in the lab up to chest height and fired wildly at Naruto. A jet of shining blue light shot from the nose of the silver instrument and hit Naruto dead in the chest, his whole body glowed with an unearthly white light for a split second before a small, sad sounding poof echoed throughout the clearing.

The three friends stared in open amazement at the sight which greeted their eyes. It was the same boy which sat staring dazedly about, but his outfit couldn't have been more different! Well, actually it could…we could have changed the colour, but Naruto has something wrong with him! It's been scientifically proven that any clothes you put on him, no matter what they might be or what colour they may have originally been, will immediately convert to being bright, garish orange upon contact with his body. But anyway! Back on topic. There stood, or rather sat, the one and only Naruto Uzumaki dressed in ornate Elizabethan style clothing. Complete with ornate bejewelled slippers and one of those silly round hats that have a feather in them.

It seemed they weren't the only ones thrown of guard by the sudden change of events; the rest of team seven stared in horrified disbelief as Naruto stood up and dusted himself down. Even Kakashi's attention had been dragged away from his precious books for the time being. Suddenly, without warning Naruto beamed and launched into a monologue littered with strange expressions and old words such as 'Thou' and 'Hast'. Slowly Alba turned to face Ash, face incredulous, she hesitated for a second before saying,

"Is he…quoting Shakespeare?" Ash nodded dumbly. They both stared at each other in mute shock for a few seconds before bursting into uncontrollable giggles.

Crimson however didn't join in the laugh-fest that was being had at Naruto's expense. Instead she was staring in awe at the silvery contraption in her hand.

"Wow…" she breathed, "I wonder if this thing works on everybody…" An evil grin came over her face as her gaze fell on her two laughing companions and the immobilized Team 7. "Only one way to find out!" She exclaimed happily. Spinning round to face the others she fired a random shot at the group. Once again a beam of blinding blue light leapt from the barrel of the gun-like thing and filled the body it hit with a blinding white glow for a mere split second. This time, once the others had blinked the afterglow from their vision, they were confronted with the sight of a shocked looking Ash standing in the centre of the clearing. Her hair, already short, had turned pale luminescent silver. Her skin was even paler than before, and her eyes had become a chilling pale blue. She wore a black top and trousers, but over the top was a knee length coat of rich blue silk, with delicate embroidery round the hems. From a slim belt fastened at her waist hung an ornate katana with the word 'Yamato' inlaid into the hilt in golden tracery.

Alba stared in horror at the image of her friend; Crimson paled considerably and whispered, "Oh shit…" as she backed away quickly. Suddenly Ash's head snapped up and she sent a withering death glare at the two,

"What have you done!" she hissed in tones of deathly rage. Broken out of her daze by the quiet words Alba sprinted across the clearing, grabbed the device off the shocked Crimson and fired a second shot of light at Ash just as her hand landed on the katana. Team seven watched this display in bemused shock, not really knowing how to react to these strange people.

This time when the light faded, it left a decidedly different form behind it…Gone was the silver hair, replaced with a short, two toned _thing. _The cut itself was nothing out of the ordinary…it was just…the two colours employed were magenta and pale pink. Startled green eyes peered out from under the unruly bangs the dangled down in her face. A red kimono-style top fell to halfway down her thighs, kunai bandages covered her legs down to the knees with a kunai pouch on one leg just above the knee. Inefficiently stifled snickers came from Crimson and Alba as they stared at their friend. Sakura tore her attention away from a now prancing Naruto to see what was so funny. She nearly screamed when she saw one of them now looking like her identical twin.

"What the hell?!!!" she and Ash yelled at exactly the same time. Both girls turned to glare at each other and raised their fists to point, again in perfect synchronization. Curious, they began to go through a series of movements, waving, skipping on the spot, jumping up and down, etc. They managed to do all in exactly identical ways. Sakura's eyes narrowed, then without warning she broke into a complex series of flips and kicks. Ash stared in bewilderment, recovering herself enough to strike a pose (Identical to Sakura's, of course…) just as Sakura landed, making it look like she'd kept up.

Suddenly Ash's attention was diverted from her new found doppelganger as fits of laughter echoed from the near prostrate forms of Alba and Crimson. Growling in anger she marched across to the two and snatched up the silver contraption, which had been abandoned on the grassy forest floor in the other's merriment. Glaring she carefully took aim at Alba, and fired. The laughter suddenly stopped. Alba lay on the ground where she had been before, staring at herself in a mixture of horror and delight. Her ordinarily grey-blue eyes had been transformed to a darkly glowing crimson, slightly tanned skin had become nearly pure white. Her hair seemed to have come loose as it fell to half way down her back in a wave of black streaked with midnight blue, held back from her eyes by only a red bandana. A long, tattered red cloak done up with ornate buckles covered the lower half of her face as well as the upper part of the black top she now wore to match the slightly baggy black trousers that had appeared. Both arms were hidden under black leather gloves and a deadly looking golden claw adorned her left arm. The same golden metal came to gauntlet like points on the calf-high boots that had materialised. Ranged about the outfit were a series of seemingly pointless buckles, on the top, down one leg, along both arms, at the top of the boots…there were even buckles on the two belts that criss-crossed her waist. Hanging from one of the belts was a long barrelled black gun, inlaid into the side was silver tracery that took the form of a vine wrapping itself around a three headed dog motif and curling around both stock and barrel.

"Holy hell…" she breathed as Ash took her turn to laugh in abandon at her friend's predicament. "I look like a female Vincent Valentine!!" She glared at her giggling friend, then grinned. "Still, at least I don't have pink hair!" This shut Ash up. Although both were vaguely aware of an indignant shout from Sakura's direction…. More laughter from the only member of the trio not yet affected broke them out of their unofficial death-glare war. Two pairs of modified eyes narrowed as the same thought passed through their minds. With an evil smirk Ash raised the contraption once more and fired at Crimson. When she saw the effect her jaw dropped open in shock as, on the ground, Alba went into uncontrollable gales of laughter.

Crimson's plain brown hair had been replaced by long straight strands of pure white on top and a layer of pale lilac underneath that was held back in a loose ponytail by a black silk ribbon. The two dark purple bangs that framed her now white face matched nearly perfectly the eye-shadow that had mysteriously appeared above golden eyes with slitted pupils. A creamy off-white tunic fell to her knees with a thick plum coloured sash holding it in at the waist. From there Black leggings continued a few inches over the knee before stopping, on her feet were a pair of the regulation ninja sandals like the ones the members of team seven were wearing (apart from Naruto that is…). Beside her, just touching the fingers of one hand, was what looked like a wooden staff, approximately five feet in length. Soft black fabric was wrapped around either end for about a foot, and held there by a rich golden cord that was wrapped all the way round the staff in a complicated spiral that came together in an intricate bow at the centre and a bandoleer like leather belt was attached to it by a worn looking sheath that had obviously seen better days.

Bemusedly Crimson stared down at herself. Ash and Alba watched with glee the look of growing horror and disgust on her face. Scrambling up she grabbed Alba by the collar of her new cloak and whispered in a stricken tone, "Tell me this isn't as bad as I think it is!" Laughing too much to talk Alba just nodded weakly. Ash clapped a hand on the distressed Crimson's shoulder and said in a cheerily sadistic tone of voice, "Well wadda'ya know…M.J. has a look-alike!"

-

Ooooh! Another cliffy-ish…thing…Heh. So, Who's 'M.J.'? What is the strange silver device? What the hell has happened to Naruto? Why haven't Team seven done anything yet? Answers to all these question and more…in the next chapter!! (cue bad theme music…that's right. This is a soap opera! Muhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Muhahahahahahahahahahahaha-(hack-cough-splutter, falls off evil-overlord-chair-of-doom and dies)

Anyway…Yeah. I'll give a cookie to anyone who gets all the character references in their review! There, incentive! So review, and make me a happy little author…


	4. Kakashi FINALLY gets his act together

AAAAAAAAAAAH

AAAAAAAAAAAH!! I am _so _sorry that I haven't updated for so long! Please don't kill me!! I have a good excuse!! Okay…ya ready? EXAMS!! EXAMS, THE SCOURGE OF THE KNOWN WORLD!! That's right…I had exams, many, many, pointless exams that are only a practice for our Pre-lims next near…which are only a practice for our ACTUAL exams…ugh, I is confuzzled now…Anyway, so, yeah. I had to do a load of revision so I couldn't write…also, I'm afraid to say I was suffering from the dead disease of Lack-of-review-it is. Eh-hem…so! On with the way-late, crappily written chapter!

Disclaimer: Don't own – don't sue

-

At the mention of those fateful initials Crimson froze. Her expression of desperate pleading slowly morphed into one of twisted rage and horror, seemingly without conscious thought she suddenly swung round to face Ash, flicking out her tongue as she did so. Now, someone turning round and sticking out their tongue at you isn't normally something to worry about…but in this case…Crimson's tongue didn't stop moving out from her mouth at the point where common sense and the laws of physics really dictated it should, extending a good foot from her face in a terrible rope of slimy muscle that lashed at Ash's face causing her to recoil in disgust. Crimson stared at the protruding _thing_ coming from her mouth and let out a strangled moan of horror, grabbing at it she yanked hard in a vain attempt to pull it out of her mouth. The thing just kept stretching though, and soon she gave up and just stood morosely while Ash and Alba giggled away at what everyone could now see must be her tongue.

After some of the shock at these strange happenings had worn off, Sasuke shook himself slightly and glared at the people who _dared_ to make him loose his impenetrable Holier-Than-Thou attitude. Taking a menacing step forwards he demanded,

"Who the hell are you people?!" Taking her eyes off the depressed Crimson to glance indifferently at Sasuke,

"Humph," she muttered, "none of you're business you emo-wannabe." Sasuke's eyes nearly popped out of his head, "What did you just call me?!" he yelled. By now Alba and Crimson had started to watch with small smirks on their faces as the inevitable comeback came, "Nothing worth commenting on, Mr My-hair-looks-like-a-ducks-but." With a roar of indignant rage Sasuke leapt towards the person who had had the audacity to insult him, but before he got more than two paces Ash had swung up the silver contraption and shot off a bolt of light at him.

Skidding to a halt Sasuke stared down at himself in confusion, the only thing that seemed to have changed were his clothes…but that was quite change enough! Instead of his customary Uchiha shirt and beige shorts he was now wearing a bejewelled form fitting top similar in style to the one Naruto had on, and very, _very _form fitting white tights that left very little to the imagination if you know what I mean. That's right, Sasuke Uchiha was dressed as the male lead for Swan Lake. Sakura and Kakashi (being the only functioning members of team seven left) stared in horror and, at least in Kakashi's case, amusement as the last Uchiha broke out into a complicated Ballet routine without warning. Sakura continued to stare for a moment before the sight of Sasuke in such tight clothing overloaded her fan-girl sensors and she was propelled backwards into a tree by the force of her nosebleed where she lay in bliss staring fixedly at a certain part of Sasuke's anatomy.

Looking around Kakashi found himself the only one left unaffected by these strange girls, sighing he glanced back at the three new teenagers who were currently laughing at Sasuke's predicament. Clearing his throat meaningfully he slipped his book back into his pocket and folded his arms, he waited till all three of the strange girls had turned to look at him before starting,

"Well, as humorous as all this is…" his eyes narrowed, "Who are you? Where do you come from? And most importantly, what have you done to my students?"

The three companions glanced at each other uneasily, what were they meant to say? They couldn't very well come out with that they were three teenagers from another dimension who didn't know how their weapon worked…Suddenly Ash seemed to come to a decision, bringing up the silver gun she shot at Kakashi…only this time, when the after-glow had faded, nothing had happened. Kakashi stood there looking exactly the same as he had before and wearing the same expression. "Crap!" Ash muttered falling back a pace, "it didn't work!" Alba rolled her eyes and whispered back,

"No shit Sherlock! Thanks for the observation…" from Ash's other side Crimson snorted lightly in derision, catching Alba's eye she quirked an eyebrow quizzically,

"So…plan B?" She asked, Alba nodded while Ash looked between the two in confusion. "Plan B…?" she questioned dubiously, Alba grinned, "Bamboozlement!" Seeing that Ash still didn't get it she shook her head grinning, "You'll see." Taking a deep breath Crimson pointed dramatically at Kakashi and exclaimed, "Fool! You cannot ask us questions, for you are a fool full of foolishness thus making you a fool, fool! Do you not see that you are a fool, fool?!"

Understanding finally dawned on Ash's face, "Oh, I get it…confusion, yes?" Alba glanced at her in slight annoyance, "That's what I said, bamboozlement." She looked back at Kakashi, "Although I don't think it worked…he looks more angry than confused…" Kakashi glared at the girls, "Enough of this!" he growled, "I demand you answer my questions!" Crimson paled and backed off to stand in line with the others,

"Alba…" she whispered frantically, "It didn't work! What're we gonna do now!" Alba looked at Crimson and gulped, "Nothing for it…we're gonna have to resort to…Plan C!" Ash glanced between the two and then to the annoyed Jounin, "Plan C?" she hissed, "Seriously! You guys need to stop making plans without telling me!" Alba and Crimson had the decency to look embarrassed as Ash continued, "So anyway…what's Plan C?" Alba and Crimson exchanged a knowing glance, which they broke of swiftly at Ash's growl of annoyance. "Well y'see…" Crimson began, "Plan C is basically-" But here she was cut off as Alba suddenly noticed how much closer the angry grey haired ninja had gotten and grabbed hold of her now semi-albino friend and yelled, "Peg it!!" before darting off as fast as she could away from Kakashi, towing Crimson behind her and leaving Ash standing in a growing trail of dust. Ash blinked once, then caught on to what was happening and took off at tops speed after them yelling, "Hey!! Wait for me!!"

-

Yah…short chap this time round, but I couldn't fit everything in without making it mega long so…; anyway, will the three get away from Kakashi? What exactly happened to Naruto and Sasuke? And why didn't our weapon work on Kakashi?! XD Review and I might just tell ya…


	5. Run run as fast as you can

Sprinting through the forest at breakneck speed with a pissed of Jounin chasing them was swiftly teaching the three girls a very important lesson…Tree's are hard

I'm sorry! I'm really really sorry! I never meant for the update to be this late! Um…sorry!

Disclaimer: Do I really have to say it?

_____

Sprinting through the forest at breakneck speed with a pissed of Jounin chasing them was swiftly teaching the three girls a very important lesson…Tree's are _hard._ After the fifth or so collision from her position dangling from Alba's ungauntleted hand Crimson irritably yanked herself free yelling,

"This isn't working!" A few feet ahead her red cloaked friend skidded to a halt glaring at her,

"Well, what do you suggest?!" As Crimson opened her mouth to reply all of the air was knocked from her lungs as a flustered looking Ash slammed into her back muttering in a near unintelligible stream of syllables,

"He'srightbehindmesowhyhaveyoustopped?ohshitnotimequicklet'srun!!" Seizing hold of both of her stunned friends as they tried to decipher her words she set off at an even faster pace than they'd been going before.

All of a sudden a kunai thudded into the tree bark of the trunk beside Alba's head, letting out a quick 'meep' of fear she broke free of her friends hand and sped up, seeming to almost teleport she was going so fast, driving the unwitting Crimson in front of her as the two accidentally left Ash behind once again to greet the brunt of the incensed ninja's attacks. Sunlight slanted down into their eyes through a sudden break in the trees, momentarily blinding them as they frantically skidded to a halt at the lip of a yawning chasm descending into inky blackness.

Unable to stop herself in time Crimson slid over the edge of the jagged scar in the earth. Yelling in fear her tongue propelled itself out of her mouth as if by its own volition and wrapped itself around a protruding branch in a glistening rope of sinewy muscle. Wincing in fear and disgust for her friend's fate Ash stumbled to a halt behind a shaking Alba and watched with bated breath as Crimson pulled herself to safety and began to rabidly try and clean her tongue. Releasing a breath she didn't know she'd been holding she turned her attention to the seemingly petrified Alba as crimson eyes stared with abject horror at the dizzying drop mere inches before them.

Ash hesitated slightly, listening for sounds of pursuit before realising how pointless this would be. If there was one thing watching the anime had taught her it was that jounin didn't get heard by untrained teenagers unless they wanted to be heard by untrained teenagers. Sighing in frustration she yanked Alba to her feet muttering, "Come on Al', it's just a small chasm…" Yanking herself free violently and backing away from the dark rift Alba snapped, "Small?! You call that small?! I have vertigo, Ash! A three foot drop is small, that…that _thing_ isn't!!" Moving with a speed too fast for the human eye to follow Ash skidded to a halt behind her trembling friend and said in an apologetic tone of voice, "You'll thank me later…"

Before Alba could do anything more than widen her eyes in terrified surprise Ash wrapped her arms tightly around her waist and flung her high into the air, over the gaping hole that had so recently almost claimed Crimson. Screaming Alba squeezed her eyes shut, heart almost stopping in terror as she waited for the cold rush of air that would tell her she'd started falling…

It didn't come.

A gentle breeze fanned around her as she felt her feet make contact with solid earth. Stumbling forwards she span round in astonished confusion and stared in shock to find that Ash's toss had landed her securely five metres from the crumbling precipice. Hesitantly she stepped forwards, staring into the dark depths of the earth as Ash landed with an undignified thump off to her left. Cocking her head to one side she stood as still as a statue waiting for the familiar fear to come, shaking her head slightly she muttered, "Well what do you know…my vertigo's cured…" Eyes narrowing to slits of rage she rounded on her currently pink haired friend hissing, "I'm still going to _murder_ you!" Holding up her hands placatingly Ash took a few quick steps backwards saying nervously, "Now now Al', we all know that the laws of gravity and ballistics love Vincent like a brother, in that form there was no way you could miss!" The desired effect of her words was not reached however, as the red cloaked form continued to advance menacingly.

Interposing herself between the homicidal Alba and her intended victim Crimson laughed nervously, "'Kay guys, as much as I'd love to watch Ash being murdered by a Vincent valentine look-a-like we have bigger fish to fry…" Trailing off she gestured to the other side of the chasm where an irate Kakashi was busy making a series of complicated hand signs. Gulping in fear the three took off through the trees.

****

Gasping for breath Alba called out through the growing gloom of the forest to the running forms of her friends, "I think…we lost him!" Glancing behind her for a second she suddenly collided with something that seemed awfully soft for a tree…The force of the collision sent her flying back into Ash and both of them tumbled to the ground in a groaning tangle of limbs. A low "Oh shit…" from Crimson made them look up, to find themselves staring into the mismatched eyes of a _very _pissed off Kakashi.

Executing a perfect face-palm Alba shook her head saying self-deprecatingly, "Of course…Anime Law!" Ash and Kakashi both stared at her as if she'd gone insane as Crimson nodded sagely in agreement. Watching the jounin warily Ash muttered in perplexity, "Anime Law?!" grinning Crimson posed dramatically and began to declaim loudly, "Ye twelfe Booke of Anime Law, Chapter XII, verse one-hundred and fifteen." Beginning to wish she'd never asked Ash glanced from Crimson to the now stunned Kakashi as her mad friend continued, "Ye producer, in all his wisdom, didst looke down upon we mere mortals and he didst proclaim, "Lette ite be myne will that iffen thou art beinge persuid by ain enemye and thou dost sayeth "I thinketh we hast losteth hym," thou shalt runne into hym most reddily." Glaring around the clearing Crimson cried, "Thus it was written, thus it shall be!!"

Applause shattered the stunned silence as Alba clapped enthusiastically, "well done, beautiful recitation! But where'd all the 'thou's come from…" Bowing her head modestly Crimson replied, "I got 'ye olde englishe dictionary for dummys..."

A pointed cough from the grey haired jounin snapped them out of their little world,

"You," he said in a dangerously quite voice, glaring daggers at the three girls as they quailed under his gaze, "have some explaining to do."

___

The end for now, sorry again for the lateness…review please? Even though I don't deserve it?


	6. The words 'Oh' and 'crap' come to mind

…I'm dead, aren't I? *ducks incoming sharp objects* I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! Gah, I know I've said that just about every chapter so far because of my terrible timing and procrastination – but I mean it! I'm really, really sorry! And this time it really _won't _happen again…Crimson is blackmailing me.

____

Shrinking back from the red and blue glare of the tense jounin the girls did their best impression of frightened kittens, eyes wide with nerves as Kakashi's hand twitched slightly towards his kunai pouch. Taking her turn at being the logical one Alba whispered urgently to the others,

"Drop your weapons!" Catching on Ash instantly divested herself of anything which could be construed as dangerous – except for her neon hair – and Alba struggled to follow suit, dumping both the strange silver gun and her own dark weapon on the ground as she fought with the buckles holding the golden gauntlet onto her hand. Glancing back at Crimson Ash saw her cradling her tall staff like a precious treasure, shooting a glance at the slightly placated ninja before them she hissed,

"Do you want to die? Drop the damn thing!" Pouting stubbornly Crimson wailed,

"Brute! How can you ask me to abandon my only love?! How can you be so cruel to my dearest Cotton-bud!" Three pairs of eyes stared at the white haired girl incredulously, relaxing slightly Kakashi murmured,

"'Cotton-bud'?" he shook his head, glancing down at the small pile of weapons on the forest floor and back to the mentally unbalanced girl who was holding a double-headed spear as if it was a baby and cooing to it.

Cautiously Kakashi peered at the strange girls, puzzled to find their odd shape-shifting display previously didn't seem to be the product of any genjutsu or ninjutsu he could detect. Glaring at the teens he demanded forcefully, "Who are you? What did you do to my students?" His gaze darkened slightly as he said in a dangerous voice, "Answer now, and hope to God you can _undo_ it." Swallowing convulsively Ash stammered, "I'm Ash, this is Alba and Crimson – my friends…" trailing off under his suspicious glare she let Alba take over, "Uh we…we changed you students personalities with this…" indicates the innocent looking silver contraption on the ground, adding hurriedly, "And if you'd give us five minutes to look at the controls we'd be able to re-programme it and set things right." Crimson stared at her friend in puzzlement, saying blithely, "Alba, what are you talking about? Even if we don't blow it up there's no way in hell we'd be able to- Ow!" Smiling nervously at Kakashi Ash extracted her elbow from Crimson's stomach, nodding as she said, "That's right, just five minutes and everything will be fine!"

At Kakashi's disgruntled nod the three snatched up the silver gun, huddling around it and peeling off the back as fast as they could. Panicking slightly Alba hissed to Crimson, "Where the hell do all these wires connect?" Crimson glared at them both, sniffing slightly, "How should I know? You guys are the ones who took physics…"Alba glared back at Crimson, snapping sarcastically, "Thanks for the help!" and tentatively beginning to fiddle with the complicated circuit board in the back with help from Ash.

A few seconds later to the on-edge jounin's puzzlement Crimson was thrown backwards by her glaring friends as Alba yelled, "We're reversing the process, not installing a self-destruct sequence!" Picking herself up Crimson grumbled, "Everything needs a self-destruct…" Settling herself moodily back next to the others she shot a glance at the suspicious Kakashi, frowning as she complained quietly, "I don't get it, the thingy worked on the others – why not on him?" Ash looked between the silver nozzle of the gun and Kakashi's narrowed eyes, stifling a smile as she whispered, "Actually…I think it did work." Alba and Crimson stared at her in confusion as she lowered her voice still further to offer her explanation, "We're not dead yet. And he believed us without question…" Realisation dawned in her companions' eyes as they tried to smother giggles born of relief and fear.

Fighting to keep straight faces they turned back to Kakashi holding out the silver gun out like a peace offering, moulding her face into what she hoped was an innocent expression Ash acted as spokesperson for the girls, "We fixed it, we can just reverse what we did and be on our way…" The sharingan in Kakashi's eye span ominously, making the three quail back under the force of his glare as he said firmly, "No. You can reverse what you did…and then try telling your story to Anbu." Shocked silence followed his words as green, red and golden eyes stared at him disbelievingly.

As one the girls blanched paper white, faintly Alba muttered, "An...bu?" Even Crimson dropped her playful insanity for a second, choking out, "But we're just children! Anbu are the puppy-kickers of the ninja world!" Choosing to ignore this slur on members of his former occupation Kakashi stepped towards the teens threateningly, causing a sudden scramble to not be the one closest to him. Refraining from violence he barked coldly, "Get moving, _now_." There was a moment's hesitation as they contemplated grabbing their weapons and running, but one look at Kakashi's face o' doom and they began hurtling through the trees back the way they'd come like small female bullets.

***

The sight that greeted the irate Kakashi and his three unwilling companions was slightly different to what they'd left. Sasuke now sported a rather fetching belt that looked oddly like Sakura with her face pressed against his middle, while Naruto tried desperately to convince a tree that it might be a butterfly dreaming it was a human dreaming it was a tree. At a pointed glare from the grey haired ninja Ash hurriedly fired off two bolts of light, leaving a puzzled looking Naruto and a Sasuke acting more like a demented chicken in his attempts to free himself from Sakura's fangirl strength death-grip on his waist.

Huddling together nervously Ash whispered cautiously, "I don't suppose you two have any more plans you didn't tell me about…?" Miserably Crimson and Alba shook their heads, watching as Kakashi swiftly dispatched the loudly complaining Naruto along with the disgruntled Sasuke to visit the hospital for a check-up. Trailing after the boys Sakura paused to glance back at the unhappy looking girls being rounded on by Kakashi, hesitantly she asked,

"Sensei? Are they in trouble?" As one Ash and Alba smothered Crimson's animated response, shuddering in disgust as she abused her suddenly ridiculously sized tongue in an attempt to get free by the usual method of disgusting the person into removing their hand.

Kakashi smiled reassuringly at Sakura, replying calmly, "Don't worry Sakura – they're just strangers who got a little lost. I'm going to take them to the Hokage's office and we'll soon have this all sorted out. The three girls exchanged a glance, hoping that 'Hokage' in this case _meant_ Hokage – talking to Sarutobi seemed much nicer than the prospect of trying to explain things to Anbu. Giving the strange girls a slightly disconcerted smile Sakura left, leaving the three alone with a suddenly serious Kakashi. Unsmiling the grey haired ninja turned and regarded the three girls coldly, staring at them hard for a few seconds. Faced with three children's faces filled with trepidation Kakashi felt himself relenting slightly, realising idly that he hadn't had them reverse whatever changes had been wrought on himself. Shaking the though off he sighs slightly, muttering frustratedly, "Let's go. Hokage-sama'll want to talk to you…" Hope dawned on the girls faces as they warily followed the impassive jounin towards the tall red gates of the village.

____

Le gasp – I gave Sakura a line! Wonders will never cease…

Thankies very much to anyone with the patience to stick it out thus far – I'll try to be better! In the mean time…review? Pretty please?


	7. IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE

Hi everyone and anyone who might read my stories,

It's been a little over a year since I've properly updated anything and I just wanted to say I'm _so_ sorry! I know I promised to update things and I haven't, this is the first time in a while I've been able to get on a computer that works properly.

December 2008 our desktop computer at home broke - it still turned on but it wouldn't connect to the router even though we checked everything and the connections were fine, mum refused to let us buy a new one insisting that the old one was 'fine' ¬_¬. So long story short after that my computer use was crippled, I've only been able to get online in school and teachers ain't so happy when you write fanfics instead of essays so…yeah…Anyway it took me this long to save enough money to buy myself a laptop. (on that note I _love_ my new laptop! It's so fast and, and…shiny! 8D It's my precious…)

Eh-hem…yes, anyway. So I have a laptop now, so I should be able to get back into some semblance of normal updating, yes?

No.

I'm really sorry about this part but I'm in a really important year for me school wise - if I don't make my education my priority then I'll just sink like a stone, the workload is unbelievable L But! I don't want to abandon fanfiction completely, I really love this site and some of the people out there are just lovely (Wulfeh for example - my LOTR story is officially dedicated to you!) So to keep some semblance of balance I'm going to choose ONE of my multi-chapter stories to keep writing.

This doesn't mean I'm abandoning my other stories, it just means I'm going to take them down and wait 'til the selected story is finished before moving on to the others. On that note…it's time for a vote.

Anyone who's still paying attention to my scribblings and can be bothered, please review or PM me with the story of mine you most want to see continued right now, after two weeks the story most people are interested in is the one I'll keep going.

Sorry again and please, please, please vote soon!

Dana-Lith


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